A Cautionary Tale - If yer pulled over in Garrettsville (or lots of other places), the good officers certified for Drug Awareness and Investigation & Search and Seizure/Search Warrants aren't real clear on constitutional law. If you would like to avoid being detained for over an hour while some yahoo goes fishing for drugs that don't exist in your personal belongings, tell them to keep their dog away from your car. the dog in garrettsville ohio doesn't seem to be any less prone to making mistakes than the human officers. if you've pulled over for a minor traffic violation , you have the right to refuse a search. if you are asked for consent to "bring out the dogs", unless you have a couple hours to blow, tell them to piss off (in a more polite fashion) if you want to save yourself and the people of the town a lawsuit waiting to happen and just drive around the town.
Officer Tom
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as i drove down from the shores of lake erie one saturday after a show
the air it was hot and the hour was late as i started on my journey home
my volkswagon had lasted for many a mile, but the right headlamp it was gone
when i saw blue lights flashing i pulled to the side
i expected a ticket that wouldn't take long
he came to the window, explained why he stopped me while shining his light in my eyes
it seemed that he might let me go with a warning
we i told him the junkyard was the next next place i'd drive
but then he informed me the road i was on had been used as a drug corridor
and the beam of his flashlight it moved to the backseat and he tried to pry open the passenger door
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well officer e. of the garretsville's finest
has been watching too much bad tv
so he was out fishing with flashlight and gun
after hours of trolling he thought he'd catch me
the officer asked if i had any drugs and i showed him my sugared caffiene
but he kept asking for acid or pot, maybe heroin guns or maybe coccaine
he said 'you don't mind if i search thru your car after asking me 3 times for weed
so i politely declined his intrusion and told him i'd rather just go home and sleep
but officer e had been trained like a lot of the cops working here in the US of A
he was taught how to threaten and taught how to lie but the constitution it just gets in the way
i proceeded to tell him he'd just make a mess of my things that he wouldn't clean up
he finally realized i was not consenting and so he decided to bring round the dog
well officer e. of the garretsville's finest
has been watching too much bad tv
so he was out fishing with flashlight and gun
after hours of trolling he thought he'd catch me
my car it was filled up with garbage and gear dog hair and dog food all around
a moldering apple behind the back seat
but i knew that there just were no drugs to be found
the officer said put your hands on the wheel and don't move 'cause we've been trained to shoot
and either his doggy was hungry or horny or officer e wasn't telling the truth
and striking a macho pose, hand on his holster claimed the dog it had hit on the car
so i had to get out and he searched me for weapons and asked where i'd hid all my marijuana
then he proceeded to read me my rights 'til i told him i'd nothing to say
i stood with the backup cop there on the berm and officer e. started digging away
well officer e. of the garretsville's finest
has been watching too much bad tv
so he was out fishing with flashlight and gun
after hours of trolling he thought he'd catch me
for more than an hour he looked thru my stuff taking everything out of the car
i spoke up to tell him he'd better be careful while moving around my guitar
i started to wonder just what he would do after hours with nothing to show
and i was suprised when the whole thing was over that no pot from his pocket fell onto my floor
so if you go driving thru northeast ohio and happen to come to a sign
warning you that the next town up is garretsville
make a left turn and go round to the side
until officer e. of the garretsville's finest
stops watching too much bad tv
and no longer goes fishing with flashlight and gun
or after hours of trolling he'll try to catch thee
copyright sue jeffers 2002